Parenting isn’t an easy job. There’s no “right” way to parent, no pamphlet or manual with all the answers, and yet, everyone has opinions about what you’re doing wrong. Similarly, doing the job of an organ isn’t an easy job. There’s no manual teaching you how to be a pancreas. Doctors don’t have all the answers. Other people with T1D don’t have all the answers. And yet, everyone has opinions about what you should be doing differently with your T1D child.
“8 Truths about T1D Parenting”
By: Shannon Dupuis, T1D Mom
Here are a few things we (parents of children who have Type1 Diabetes ) would like you (anyone who doesn’t live with T1D) to understand:
1. Not everyone can babysit my child. People with T1D need insulin injections to live. That same insulin has the potential to kill them. That alone narrows the list down quite significantly.
2. Every decision can be life or death. Even when we do everything right, there aren’t any guarantees. No, I’m not exaggerating! Yes, our children can actually die if not properly cared for 24/7.
3. We aren’t “helicopter parents”. Things can go wrong very quickly.
4. Our children’s health is on our minds 24/7. We’re constantly hoping the decisions we have made were the right ones. The worry and stress never end.
5. There’s no manual on how to be a pancreas. There isn’t a concrete “if this happens, do that”. There are so so many variables that we have to think about and hope we get it right. Hormones, adrenaline, excitement, nervousness, activity level, carbs, insulin to carb ratios, correction factors, how the child is feeling that day, what their blood glucose number is, what worked last time? Knowing it might not work this time. And many more.
6. It’s a never-ending job! We can’t just “take a day off” from our kid’s health. It’s always on our minds even when we sleep (ok who am I kidding, we don’t sleep.)
7. That it’s not “all ok now and he’s under control, right?” Because it’s been X amount of years now. Or that they are on a pump so things should be easy now. No, we still have to be a pancreas.
8. That diabetes can hijack our day at any point. And if we have to drop/delay plans to cope/treat it we will because that’s what we have to do to keep our children alive! Not because we’re being rude or want all the attention, it’s what is necessary.
Do you have things that you’d add to this list? What do you think about parenting a T1D child and the points that were made? Let’s talk about it in the comments!
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I would like to add that I can’t do it all and have to prepare my child to one day make decisions without me. I understand stand her age and you might find my approach different from what you would take. Her understanding risks, possible consequences, and her having a say in her care could prevent depression, suicide, or poor decisions later in life.
It’s very true. Ex Roy I do believe most young people are helicopter parents. Not You, but most are. Parents do not leave kids to figure it out themselves. Wether it’s fighting food choices chores etc. Parents dictate who their kids play with, where and when. This I know to be true. I’ve witnessed plenty. And its very very wrong.p
I’m in it for the long game. I may do things you don’t agree with right now, but my job is to buy compliance because said child has to live with this every day all day – forever. Yes, it’s better for his blood sugar if I NEVER let my 10 year old son EVER eat pizza again . But then when he sneaks it and hides it from me, and he will, who did that really help?!?! If I teach him how to manage pizza now, at 10, he won’t feel like he has to hide things from me at 16.
This has also been our family’s approach. My husband and middle daughter are both T1. From the day of diagnosis I stated our daughter had to learn to care for her own health and be her own advocate at time because we will not always be there and this is her disease. I need peace of mind that she can take care of herself and this also creates trust between us so she has more freedom to do things without us on top of her. She will be 11 this month and it’s been one year since diagnosis and she has done so good. She has carb counting down to a T! A lot of responsibility for a ten year old but she is doing a great job and she is my hero.
Please, along with your daughter, know the signs of (Caregiver) Burnout; don’t ever hesitate to help or ask for help.