Type 1 diabetes is an interesting disease. Different people have different targets and ranges for their blood glucose numbers. An A1C of 7 might be fantastic for one person while it’s disappointing for another. People sharing and talking about their “wins” and difficulties can cause feelings of superiority or failure in others. That’s why comparing your T1D journey with someone else’s can be a dangerous game to play.
When you see positive posts
Sometimes it seems that everyone else has this type 1 thing figured out. You see post after post of perfect Dexcom graphs, non-diabetic A1Cs, and other people’s “wins”. It can be really discouraging when all you see at home is a roller coaster of numbers.
It might make you start comparing your graphs and numbers to their graphs and numbers. You might even wonder what you’re doing wrong.
Before you saw what was going on with everyone else, you were content with how you were managing your T1D. But now, you feel like you’re somehow failing.
Are you failing?
Honestly, probably not. The thing is, people tend to put their “best selves” forward. In life, online, and with T1D.
Just as we use cropping, angles, and filters in our pictures, we can also pick and choose what to share when it comes to T1D.
You’re choosing to compare yourself to a stranger. A stranger who is probably doing about the same as you, give or take. A stranger who is only sharing with you what they want to share.
Let me show you…
This is what a Dexcom graph looks like.
These are my son’s Dexcom graphs. Two of them, side by side.
Every little dot on that graph is a blood sugar reading. This cool (and expensive) little device takes a blood sugar reading every 5 minutes.
The yellow and red lines indicate too high or too low. Ideally, we want all of the little dots to be white, in between the colored lines.
Which graph looks better? The one on the right… right?
The one on the left is all over the place. Highs and lows with not much in the white range. The one on the right is 100% in the white range. Obviously the right one.
Now really look at the pictures
Notice the time in the top right corner.
Notice the number of hours highlighted orange in each image.
Both of these images are a snapshot of the exact same night, at the exact same time. But they look completely different.
That nice straight line on the right… it represents the 3 hours prior to that screenshot.
I was extremely grateful for those few hours of stable blood sugars.
Because the image on the left…
The one with the INSANE highs and lows, the one that implies I got no sleep that night… those are the same readings plus the 21 hours prior. 24 hours rather than 3.
Which one would you share?
I could have just shared the straight line and made it look like we have T1D completely figured out.
Would you have felt like my son and I are doing better than you or your child? Would it make you wonder how to get a straight line like that?
I could have shared the crazy one and implied that I have no control over my son’s numbers at all (it feels that way sometimes doesn’t it?)
Would that make you feel like you are doing a good job with your T1? Would it feel better knowing that other people get roller coaster numbers just like you do?
I choose to share both. Because we all have times with awesome numbers and we all have times with “where the heck did those numbers come from” numbers. Sometimes both in a short period of time.
So the next time someone shares a positive T1D moment
Take it with a grain of salt and be happy for them.
They reached their goal, or they got a full night sleep, or they went a few hours without worrying about blood sugars. Maybe this is normal for them, maybe it’s the first “win” in months.
Share in the joy that brings.
Because T1D doesn’t often give us wins.
We’re all on this crazy T1 ride together. So make your goals, try different tips and tricks that you come across. Do what you can to get 6 solid hours of sleep.
Celebrate the small victories and help each other through the difficult times.
But whatever you do, don’t let someone else’s win feel like your loss.
Happy carb counting!!!
~ Leah
Do you tend to compare your T1D journey to other people’s or do you focus on you? Tell us about it in the comments section below! And don’t forget to ‘like’ Carb Counting Mama on Facebook.
This is a great post and so true. I see graphs and good A1C’s and then wonder why my daughter’s A1C is higher and I doubt what we do. But she has good days and weeks too. With two kids with type 1, I see how people are different. They do the same things but my son’s is so much easier to manage. He doesn’t get the huge variations she does, even though they do the same things. Thanks for posting, lots of us needed to hear that!
That’s such a huge part of it, everyone’s T1 is different. What works for one person may be horrible for another. I think it’s important to gain as much knowledge as possible. You can find stuff that works for other people and give it a try, but ultimately you have to focus on what works for you.
I see your point, but this happens all the time in life and anyone can manipulate graphs and numbers for a desired outcome. I am sorry anyone has had this experience. It can be very hurtful. This disease is non stop all day and all night and it can take a toll on your mental, physical, and emotional well being. I have had positive experiences on forums that have been encouraging. I see more post about a BG sudden rise than the normal BG lines. Everyone is coming together to try and troubleshoot what’s happening. If someone does show a nice line, someone will ask how did you do that? This encouraging advise has been inspiring and helpful to me since my son’s diagnosis. It gets me through the day. But everyone copes with this disease differently too. We have decided to LCHP because we were seeing better BG control. We do have some hiccups as we are tweeking doses, but nothing like the high BG’s levels we were experiencing at the hospital and our first few days at home. I have also read others do well using a different approach or different insulin’s. In the end everyone has to do what works best for their family.
Happy carb or protein counting, whichever one works for you! 🤗