My child started sneaking food! What should I do? Should I punish him? This is LIFE THREATENING. He could cause permanent damage! How do I teach him?? If this sounds like your house, let me tell you a story.
“Sneaking food” is a common problem that parents of children with t1d struggle with.
Frankly, I don’t like the term “sneaking”. It seems like they’re doing something intentional and wrong.
Whether it’s intentional or not, it can turn into a serious problem. So what do you do when you find out your child is sneaking food?
For me, the answer is simple…
The maple syrup incident
My 7-year-old son came up to me and said, “Mom, I’m going to tell you the truth.”
Oh great, this should be good. I wonder what he’s done.
“What is the truth buddy?”
“I accidentally spilled the maple syrup in the pantry.”
It was mid-afternoon. His siblings were playing in their room. We were not eating. It was not snack time. He had recently checked his blood sugar and it had been high at 16.8 (about 302 by US measurements). So what was he doing with the maple syrup?
My assumption was that he was trying to eat it.
As we walked over to the pantry, I asked what he was doing with the maple syrup.
He said, “I don’t know.”
I don’t know
I hate that phrase. It means he does know, but he knows he’ll get in trouble for the real answer.
I raised my eyebrow at him questioning the legitimacy of his answer. Then I looked in the pantry.
The maple syrup was back on the shelf where it belonged, but there was a puddle of brown, sticky, goo on the floor. There was a napkin in the middle of the puddle. He had tried to cover up his mistake, realized he didn’t know how to clean it up, and finally decided to fess up.
“So… were you eating maple syrup?” I asked him.
“Yes. I was going to, but then it spilled.”
What do you do when your child starts sneaking food?
- Stay calm. Getting angry and accusing your child of doing something wrong will not get you anywhere. Try to respond rather than react.
- Don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t assume what the situation is without the facts. If you decide that they are “sneaking” when they were really planning on grabbing a snack and checking their blood sugar, it could deter them from coming to you in the future.
- Remind them of the house rules. If it’s a rule that they don’t snack at a certain time or don’t eat certain things (eg: we don’t eat maple syrup!), remind them that it’s a rule. Also, it can help to point out that Mom and Dad or siblings don’t get to do these things either… seriously, we don’t eat maple syrup.
- Use “in the future” examples. “This didn’t work very well. Next time, let me know that you’re hungry and we can find a healthy snack for you instead.” Or “an apple was a really healthy choice! In the future, you have to remember to check your blood sugar and bolus for your food. If you’re not sure how many grams it is or how much insulin to give, I can help you.”
- Discuss different approaches. Talk to your child about why they were sneaking food. Maybe there’s something simple that you can do to help like putting a cheat sheet of common snacks with carb counts on the fridge and pantry doors. Listen to their ideas, they may have a solution in mind.
- Get them to repeat. Have your child reiterate what the issue was and how to better handle the situation in the future.
Back to the Maple Syrup
The punishment was more of a discussion.
I asked him if he had done this before. I mentioned that he knew he was high as he had just checked his blood sugar about 30 minutes ago. I pointed out that people don’t tend to eat maple syrup out of the bottle (no judgment if you do though!!)
He understood.
We talked while we cleaned. We talked about how his siblings would not be allowed to eat maple syrup out of the bottle either.
I told him that I appreciated him telling me about it, but that he should have done that rather than trying to clean it up himself.
Realistically
Yes, he could have shot his blood sugar super high if he had succeeded in drinking some maple syrup.
But, we check his blood sugar every 2-3 hours. Shocking as it would be, we could easily correct it and move on.
What he did was not healthy… for anyone.
When deciding how to react to a situation like this, it’s simple. What would you do with a non-T1 child in the same situation?
Would I have cried over spilled syrup?
Would I have grounded my child?
Would I run out and buy locks and chains to keep my child out of the pantry forever?
No. So I didn’t do it with him either.
I simply cleaned it up and told him you can’t eat syrup out of the bottle. Ever.
Because the thing is, they’re not “sneaking” food. They’re testing boundaries, forgetting to ask or check their blood sugar, or grabbing a snack because they’re growing more independent.
There are so many reasons our T1 children “sneak” food. It’s rarely malicious or self-destructive. Often, it’s a lot more simple than that.
At the end of the day
Not 20 minutes after we had cleaned up, I looked over at my son on the couch. He was looking straight ahead, his big brown eyes getting watery and his bottom lip starting to quiver.
“What’s the matter buddy?” I asked him.
“I just feel so bad about what I did.”
“Why do you feel bad?”
“Well, I shouldn’t have tried to eat that syrup. I shouldn’t have had sugar when I’m high and maple syrup is all sugar.”
“That’s true, but it’s not that you can’t eat sugar. It’s that if you want to eat something with carbs, you have to check your blood sugar and give yourself insulin for it. But also… we don’t drink maple syrup.”
Have your children tried to sneak food? What are your tips for handling it? Comment below!
Happy carb counting!
~ Leah
Why have tempting sweets in house with a child in such danger? I would think that eliminately the taste for sweets, which is what happens when one forgets the sweet taste, would be more constructive. When I had a weight problem I stopped buying sweet things. Not having them in the house worked after a period of time. I stopped being tempted at grocery stores, and passed by the bakeries.
A plus in eliminating added sweets in meals(try vegetables like carrots and butternut squash, and fruit have natural sweetness) or snacks (try a spoonful of unsalted ground peanuts) may also improve the family’s health.
Just to be clear: this is not about type 2 diabetes. No one in my family is trying to lose weight. Our family eats fairly healthy overall. That being said…
While I completely agree that everyone should try eating healthier, there are a few reasons we have sweets.
Number one is that sugar actually is a treatment needed for low blood sugar for people with type 1 diabetes. Without sugar to treat a low, my child could have a seizure or go into a coma.
Second, the “natural sweetness” in the things you listed… is sugar and carbs. People with type 1 diabetes need insulin for carbs whether it’s carbs in an apple or in a spoonful of maple syrup. It would be near impossible to eliminate carbs from the house. Teaching him how to properly check his blood sugar and give himself an insulin dose for whatever he is eating is a much more reasonable way to deal with it… but it’s a long process that sometimes has setbacks.
Lastly, even if I could eliminate all carbs from the household, what happens when he goes to a friends house, to a camp, or ultimately when he moves out on his own? I can’t (and don’t want to) bubble wrap him to protect him from the world. I want to prepare him to be a capable adult in the world.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for addressing the Type 1 versus Type 2 – its so hard to constantly hear “why don’t you just removed candy from your house?” We don’t have stores of candy and cake in our house but we do have bananas and apples and yes, maple syrup too, just like every other family. Teaching our daughter to eat healthy and check her sugars and know how and when to dose insulin prepares her for a healthy life in a world full of carbs.
Thank you Leah. Your reply is very informative and speaks of things I did not know. Your last paragraph is especially thought provoking. Good luck to you and your son.
Thank you very much Deborah. Type 1 diabetes is very complicated and most people don’t know much about it. I really appreciate you taking the time to read the post and comment. The whole point of this blog is to teach people a bit about T1D, so I’m very glad you asked about it.
My son just turned three and was taken to a children’s hospital in the 4th of Nov in dka. It’s been so hard mostly because my kids are used to eating whenever they like and with him being so young I have to time his meals to be sure he gets the right amount of insulin for the carbs he’s eaten. I honestly feel like the big bad witch.
But just tonight I had all my kids in bed and I took a bath only to come out to my son munching on four slices of bread.
I can’t even be mad at him but honestly my head just exploded and I blew up on his father (instead of him lol) and now I’m concerned but I’m trying to remain calm while we navigate this new life style. He’s asleep now and in a few minutes (two hours after he’s eaten) I’m going to test his bg and hope for the best as I’m not sure if he ate anymore then what I found him with.
I don’t want to lock things up or make him feel like he’s different so I’ve been trying to adjust his older brothers to the same eating regiment.
But man it’s so hard especially with a three year old who doesn’t understand and two brother only a year older who also don’t understand.
I appreciate this article and the honesty, it’s so nice to know others are going through this and that it’s okay to be upset but to remember that kids are kids we all make mistakes.
Wishing you and your family good luck and health!
I’m so sorry for the diagnosis! My son was around the same age when he was diagnosed, but we only had him and a baby so we didn’t have to worry about older siblings having to change things as well. It’s very smart of you to change the whole family routine and not just your T1 child. The beginning is very difficult with all of the information and changes, but as you get more confident and used to things, you will be able to give insulin whenever he wants to eat (or when you want him to eat). We can now do multiple boluses (administering insulin for food) for a single meal. Maybe he wants seconds and/ or dessert. We just give more insulin as needed. It’s when they start eating and not giving insulin, or hiding it, that it gets tricky. Lots of love to you and your family. You’re doing great!!